Clare

Nov. 1st, 2013 10:28 pm
theworldahead: (not ok is ok)

Tonight I was thinking about alternate universes. Tonight I was thinking about a universe where everything is the same except you are alive.

I thought about what I would do if I could travel to that universe - would I stay?

No.

I would tell other-me, though, I would tell her how much I miss you and how she should be grateful for every extra day she has with you and how she should make the most of them. We never know when we are going to run out of days.

I would probably ask for one more day with you, too. One more day with brunch and shopping and you doing my makeup and us drinking too much at the Merc. One more day.

It would not be enough - I wanted so many days with you, days until we were old and senile and still friends. I wanted all of your days.

But because I cannot have them, because you are gone, I think of other universes. In some we have never met, in some you are dead, in some I am dead, in some either or both of us were never born (in one we are cats, I suspect, and that is a great universe).

But here is the truth of me - in every universe where I know you, I love you. In every universe where I have lost you, I miss you. In every universe where we are still together, you make my life better.

I comfort myself with that thought - that across time and space so many Rebeccas can still have one more day with so many Clares.

theworldahead: (not ok is ok)

I'm going to be posting some open letters to Clare while I'm in NYC this week - feel free to avoid my LJ until Sunday or so and I'll sound the all-clear after that - but if you'd like to read along please feel free to do so.

They'll be unlocked but have comments disabled - I'm not really looking for a dialogue, mostly just venting.

theworldahead: (Emo lawn)

Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit

http://www.holocaust-history.org/auschwitz/gisella-perl/

Probably don't read this if crying isn't in your future.

But seriously, read it.

A quote from her book )

theworldahead: (Jeeves angry face)

Ok, so recently some of y'all may have been witness to me really upbraiding Ethan about a shirt he chose to wear - and while I admit I was perhaps a little harsher than the situation warranted (and I have already apologized to Ethan for that fact), I absolutely stand by my critique.

A little background - Ethan chose to wear a shirt to a party that had the phrase (or one very similar to it), "When you run out of pepper spray, can I have your number?" on it. He thought it was funny - one would assume because Ethan (as anyone who knows him would tell you) is not at all the sort of man who would harass a woman to the point where she would genuinely fear for her safety (and would then presumably use pepper spray to defend herself), and certainly not enough of a dolt to continue to harass a women through a blinding haze of pepper spray. Ha ha, funny!

Nope. Not actually funny.

If I'd been a little less pissed and a lot more articulate, here's what I would have said.

"Dude, there are men out there RIGHT NOW who think that a woman owes them her time and attention. They think it's ok to harass her in the street, catcalling and yelling lewd suggestions. They think it's ok to approach her in a bar and continue to ask for her contact information after being repeatedly turned down - they think it's ok to follow her to her car and continue that harassment. THEY THINK WOMEN OWE THEM SOMETHING, AND THAT'S NOT OK. Now you, you're not one of those guys. We both know that. But every time someone, especially someone who is "not one of those guys", thinks it's funny to make a joke about assult, or about rape, or about race or any contentious and highly problematic issues...it makes it a little easier for someone to actually get away with being a douchebag who assults women (or men!), or a rapist, or a racist, because we've humorized and humanized it. It's a tshirt slogan, it doesn't actually happen to women. That's why that shirt is not ok, and why I'm calling you on it."

So to you, my reading few, this is a heads up - if I see you doing something shitty, something that demeans a real issue that people face the world over...whether it's wearing a crap tshirt or dressing up as a "Native Princess" for Halloween or making a rape joke, I'm going to call you on it. I will do my best to unpack my issues and to communicate with you in a meaningful way about why I feel your attitude/dress/demeanor/joke isn't ok, and how I feel it's damaging. I may be pissed and not do the best I could, which I apologize for.

But really? You're better than this. We all are.

PS: If you would like to educate yourself about street harassment, go to http://ihollaback.org and check out some of their stories.
theworldahead: (love religion)

This is a post for Lisa and Vince - if you don't want to spend the next half an hour squeege-ing the cute from your brain, don't look!

Love is... )

So you can understand why I was a little teary writing this post, and why I am overjoyed to be a part of their handfasting tomorrow - to be a part of their lives going forward, their wonderful shared journey. I love you crazy kids! <3 <3

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